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Things Programmers Say

ByElke Blinick

lookatscreen

  • Analyst says this should take about an afternoon to code
  • Analyst says the users signed the specs. He forgot to ask them if they also read the specs
  • Manager told me that this is how users get their work done. Apparently the users did not know that
  • I have like 59 versions of this program, maybe I should delete some
  • Oops, my USB drive is learning how to swim in coffee

  • How do you code this in T-SQL, all I can think of is Oracle today
  • They told me to be careful with using asterisk after delete
  • I think I just wiped out the root directory
  • My last backup? Let me think
  • Meanest application ever developed. Auto play on ads. Now I have to work wearing ear pods
  • There is a complete system backup from last night, no?
  • I think I will use rm –rf for that
  • You mean, you have not backed this up in a year?
  • You want that in 30 minutes?
  • This is a lot more complex than I thought
  • Yeah, it will take me about 2 days to change the formatting mask
  • Jeez, and I was planning to leave early today
  • My battery is running out? I thought that only happens to morons in movies
  • Power outage. Again. I probably have to move to another country
  • You are running XP? What do you drive, a Pinto?
  • Clean up my directories? Why? I get a new notebook next year and that will take care of it
  • Well, if my phone line was not working, I would not be talking to you
  • Maybe I should learn Hindi, at least then I can talk to tech support
  • Yes, I already rebooted my computer, but that did not fix the problem
  • Yes, I have a problem with 0s and Os
  • I think India should change their time zone, that would make support so much easier
  • Don’t say o when you mean zero
  • Which forward slash do you mean?
  • Was that a hyphen or an underscore?
  • Dang, I have a Canadian keyboard. So how did I switch to French?
  • Toughest thing I had to do change my Google preferences back from Klingon
  • Dang, why the heck do the Germans have a different keyboard? I thought they lost the war
  • Dang, have an HP notebook, they change the keyboard with every model
  • Yeah, the green power light is on
  • You mean my problem is with Outlook? Maybe I should email Bill Gates and complain
  • Yeah, but why don’t we just use a database for this, not a spreadsheet?
  • Great! Sales reps now use Lotus Notes. And that affects me how?

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